Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
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I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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