The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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