I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
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After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
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You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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