I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize