I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
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