Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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