my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
