you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
