I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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