HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
