I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
