We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
