Dual....:-)
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
