I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
