3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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