Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
