What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize