Just mADE A PArabola og urine
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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