found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
