Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
