Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
