i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
