I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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