Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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