is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize