her vagine was all disorganized.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
