When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
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I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
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It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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