it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
