Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
