we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
