Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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