i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
