Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
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I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
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Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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