Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
