there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
