well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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