What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
