I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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