She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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