her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize