One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
