Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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