U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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