then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
