i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
