Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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