I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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