I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
