I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
