I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
