Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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