the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
