every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
