It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
