Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
