cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We had sex on a dog bed..
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize