I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
