If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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