Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
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Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
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I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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