at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
