I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
you told grandpa to call you daddy
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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