I wish I only lived at night.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
did you just send me my own nude
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
