is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My day in three words: secret purse cake
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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