Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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