There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
