Im at strip club and am horny
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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