I like to think it a success when the cops are called
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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