I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
