I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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