You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
