Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
