is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
