i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i barfeds in our rink
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
