The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
